This post has been a long time comin. But pretty much my middle name is ‘better late than never’ these days…. For your enjoyment, I have included some photos that are far from glorifying. They are completely unedited and horrible quality. You are welcome.
I have a very adorable friend who sometimes babysits the kids for me while I am at work and she said something to me a couple of months ago that was very… er…. striking. One of those things that kind of stung because I feel like I have possibly been portraying myself incorrectly, or misunderstood, or what have you. We were talkin the basics of life and she was just kind of asking how I was doing. I should add that this particular friend actually cares to hear my answers when she asks typical life questions. I have been ridin the struggle bus for quite some time now, mostly in regards to my job and trying to find balance, and I kind of just told her straight up that ‘things are sucky right now’. That is the PG version.
She got this super surprised look on her face and said ‘oh really? I just figured things were going really well because of your Instagram and some of the things you post on there’. She went on to elaborate that because I post a lot of “inspirational” content that I must be in a wholeheartedly peaceful place…..
I can say I am honestly ashamed of the fact that I have at any point in time portrayed that I am living in a fantasy land of rainbows, unicorns, and perpetual organization. I tend to post more encouraging content because I DESIRE that feeling, not necessarily because everything is perfect. I enjoy reading poetry and passing ‘killer words’ on to my readers because sometimes that is what keeps me going day to day; a hope that tomorrow will be different, better, and I will continue to grow. I am really beginning to hate social media because of this comparison game we all tend to play. Although it has led me to all kinds of neat opportunities, it also improperly depicts what one’s life might truly be like. Let’s face it: LIFE. IS. FUCKING. HARD. (pardon the French. Why is it the French? and not some other language?). For all of us. At some point or another. Nobody really knows what war anyone else is fighting, no matter how beautiful their IG feed, or how many ‘followers’ you have, bla bla bla. And yes, I have contemplated deleting it all….. but…..
I have met some of THE MOST amazing, authentic, creative, beautiful souls through social media and have networked with a great group out in the real world because of it. These people in turn have encouraged me to step out of my comfort zone and pursue more of the life that I love. They have also taught me that I have a lot to offer, just as I am, not like anyone else that might have all their squares in a matching color palette.
So. I will keep on keepin on. But I hope I am always being as honest as I can be. Just know that regardless if I post some horribly cheesy, insanely motivational quote that I am still dealing with anxiety, single motherhood, lack of satisfaction in my ‘real’ job, picking the mold off the bread because I forgot to buy more, personal relationship flaws, etc, etc etc. You get the point. It’s kind of like the book ‘Everybody Poops’. Except it’s ‘Everyone Gets Drunk and Poops Their Pants At their 8-Year-Old Daugher’s Piano Recital’.
That’s a real book (and probably thing). So please please remember this when you hear the subconscious nagging you about anyone else’s ‘perfect’ life…. everyone poops.