2017 - A Comprehensive Emotional Summary

Wowza. This year was a doozy. Even sitting down to write this is extremely difficult for me. I am someone who likes to just try to forget about things and move on and pretend things didn’t happen. I don’t think you could get any more extreme as far as the up and down rollercoaster that 2017 was for me.  First, as most of you already know, I went through the painful process of divorce. It isn’t something I talk about on here out of respect for my ex-husband and his family, but it was an event that undoubtedly changed me and my perspective on life. You could say I spent almost the entire year feeling like a failure for one reason or another.  On top of the normal ‘mom guilt’ most of us experience on a day to day basis, I failed the one other main title that had been assigned to me: wife. It has been by feeling like a failure at these two tasks that I have discovered I have largely ignored myself and what my needs actually are for quite some time. I spent the better half of the year trying to focus on what makes my soul dance and explore how I can be a better person, so that I can be a better mom.  I am just going to give you a recap.

January: took kids to Hawaii and got to watch them in the wonder of beach life. We are very lucky to have the opportunity to give our children experiences like this, as I know most aren’t able to.

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February: Spent some time in my hometown honoring my old high school basketball coach for being awesome and winning an astronomical amount of games. Got to see some people from my past that I hadn’t had the chance to catch up with in forever. Insert love emoji.

March: Separated from my husband and moved to a neighboring city.  Into a townhouse.  From our house in the mountains.  Can you say culture shock.  Also took the girls on their first longish hike by myself.  Learned my lesson as far as forgetting the baby pack.

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April:  My youngest turned 3. I also met one of my very best childhood friends in Las Vegas for a girls weekend. Came down with strep throat on the first day. Typical. I feel like I put on my big girl panties and made the best of it, including successful location of a cupcake ATM and yelling at a British man to wait his turn.

May: Found a house to move into from the townhouse with a yard (a step up). The girls and I spent a lot of time outside, as it was a pretty warm early spring.

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June: Jumped into hiking mode, especially with my cousin Amanda and the girls. Went to Denver to visit my dear friends Kayla and Lindsay and had quite possibly the most fun in the world that involved a closet full of teddy bears and late night pool sneaking. Celebrated the bestie’s birthday with a surprise day date (Baby’s Day Out).

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July: Took a road trip to Bend, Oregon with a special guy. Snuck into a Matisyahu concert by climbing a small rock wall and spending a suspicious amount of time in a porta-potty. Legitimately went to another concert. Got us lost on our mountain bikes in the woods and almost died of heat stroke riding back to the car on a mountain road that had to have been a 90% grade. So many breweries.

August: Spent time with younger sister and family at the fair.  This is, in a way, equivalent to a hot hell.  Parents, you know what I mean. But I am so thankful we got that time with them. Also went on a tent camping trip to Twin Lakes. Watched the biggest leach in the world being pulled off of a child. Addie started Kindergarten (CAN I GET A WOOT WOOT).

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September: Trips to the museum, and last minute fall hiking trips.  This is when I realize I positively can not continue commuting to the town where we work and go to school and I am tired of waking up at 430 AM.

October: Find the perfect home to purchase back in our sleepy little town. Move (for the last time I swear). This is where I learn I will never again NOT hire movers. Halloween = fairies.

November: Begin home renovations - painting.  Forever.  I will do this the rest of my life.  Spent some time at Chico Hot Springs with a good friend. Went Christmas tree hunting for the tree that would end up making the tree hall of fame for worst, driest, messiest, biggest nightmare of a tree in the history of trees.

ignore the fact that I am wearing two hats - including the ugly orange one. hunting season.

ignore the fact that I am wearing two hats - including the ugly orange one. hunting season.

December: Christmas. Need I say more? But really, got back on the slopes. Also hosted a work Christmas party in which I learned way too much about the folks I work with.

It wasn’t until I took the time to list all of this out that I realized that last year was not as big of a failure as I thought it was at the time. I have said this before, but the thing I am most thankful for are my kids and the ability to continue to cultivate relationships that I didn’t really know existed. I am surrounded by so much love and fun and super awesome people. I am lucky to call you all my own. I am also lucky to have the relationship I have with my kids’ father. It makes life much more pleasant than it could potentially be. I also look forward to this year as a continuation of discovering the ‘new’ and flourishing in the already known.

I hope you enjoyed this post full of incomplete sentences and slight nonsense.  Have a great week!

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